The “F” Word: Favoritism

Favoritism is a tough one. After all, who doesn’t have their favorites? We all have a favorite color, food, song, friend. So why wouldn’t a coach have a favorite student? If you asked a coach if he or she had a favorite student, he or she would most likely give you a very diplomatic answer. “I love all my skaters!” “All my skaters are wonderful and so different from one another!” “I could never pick a favorite!” Can you actually believe that? No, not really.

There will inevitably be someone that a coach will get excited about working with more than the others. It could be a skater who is doing the hardest jumps, has the most flexibility, catches on fast, shows up early for lessons, always practices, likes penguins or has the parents with the deepest pockets. Sometimes that favoritism will be fleeting and sometimes it could last a really long time. A true professional will find a way to not let this show. However, let’s face it, anyone can call themselves “coach.” Not everyone who calls themselves “coach” is a true professional.

Not The Chosen One

If your skater is not “the chosen one” it could seriously affect your skater’s career. If you only employ one coach for lessons and that coach is preoccupied with someone else’s success, your skater could be the one who is hurt. There are some things to consider when you find yourself and your skater potentially facing this scenario.

  • Does everyone in the rink know that a particular skater is coach’s favorite?
  • Does everyone in the city know it too?
  • Does your skater know it?
  • Does your skater talk about it often?

If you answered yes to these questions, this is a definite distraction and potentially an unhealthy situation for your skater. The coach may even not completely realize what she is doing and believe that she has your skater’s best interest at heart but at the same time is subconsciously undermining your skater’s ability to make progress.

Favoritism and Skater Progress

Does the favorite progress faster than every other one of the coach’s skaters? Unless that skater is taking a lot more lessons than every other skater on the coach’s roster, this is a HUGE problem. There are two things that could be going on in this situation.

  1. The coach is taking excellent care of the “chosen one”.
  2. The coach is not really taking care of everyone else.

Skating is about working on skills to get to the next level. Your skater could fall behind if the coach is more interested in the favorite. It isn’t just that the other skater is getting higher-quality training, it could also be that the coach is just not interested in being productive during your skater’s lessons anymore. In the coach’s mind your skater won’t be as good as the favorite so why expend the energy. Progress then becomes slower and possibly non-existent. The blame will most likely put squarely on your skater.

Unless you are seriously paying attention to this, it will most likely take some time to figure it out. By the time you do figure it out, you have wasted a lot of time – which skaters don’t generally have. You also could have wasted a ton of money – which the coach doesn’t deserve.

Monitor goals

Sit down with your coach at the beginning of the season to set goals for the year. Set a timeline for testing and skills acquisition. Review these goals at regular intervals and as the timeline progresses. Make sure your skater is hitting those goals and if she isn’t, ask why not. If the coach replies that it is your skater’s fault and not her, don’t settle for that answer. It is your coach’s job to communicate what she needs to attain the goals. It is your job to make sure your skater has the resources and practice time to reinforce the lessons. If you are doing your job and the goals aren’t being met, you will need to discuss this with the coach. Keep in mind that missed practices, illnesses and injuries will delay the timeline and you will need to adjust accordingly.

Watch the lessons.

Make it a point to watch your skater’s lessons. If you see that your skater is working hard, being attentive during lessons and you are following the minimum 3:1 practice-to-lesson rule, yet the coach complains your skater isn’t doing her part, this is a sign that the coach isn’t interested in your skater’s success. If you are not paying attention to the lessons, the coach will have free reign to squander time and money.

Hire a secondary coach.

When your skater has been slow to make progress, consider hiring a second coach – even if it is only temporary. This could help you confirm if favoritism is effecting your skater’s progress. If she starts making strides immediately after starting lessons with a second coach, it is time to have a conversation with the primary coach. Keep in mind, it could also be possible that the skater and coach have outgrown one another. If so, you might see the same results.

Absolutely do not select your primary coach’s BFF for this job! If you can swing it, choose someone from a different rink or club. Why? There are ethical issues that can come up when you have a team of besties working for you. Sure, “we work great together” sounds like a reason to go with whomever your coach wants to work with but at the end of the day, as far as coaches are concerned, skaters come and go. The other coaches in their life are around for a long time.

Some coaches work together on the same ice for decades. You and your child are a temporary source of income in their world. Should it come down to favorite vs. non-favorite, the coach will most likely pick the favorite. If it comes down to coach vs skater, the coach will most likely pick the coach. Do not put your eggs in one basket if you suspect favoritism. Calling the coach out on favoritism could get nasty. There is a good chance that a BFF secondary coach will follow the primary coach out the door. Blatant favoritism makes a coach look bad. While you may have evidence to support your claim, every coach in the rink might turn on you and your skater. Be prepared to switch rinks, coaches and clubs in extreme cases.

Never assume that just because someone calls them self a “professional” that they actually are one.

What the heck is PSA? And why it doesn’t matter.

The short answer is that the PSA or Professional Skaters Association is the “official” organization that offers training and accreditation to skating coaches to both U.S. Figure Skating and the Ice Skating Institute.

Accreditation is given out in two forms: ratings and rankings.

Ratings are tests that the coaches can take to prove themselves capable of teaching in a particular area of ice skating. Ratings are offered in the following areas: Free Skating, Figures, Pairs, Dance, Group, Program Director, Synchronized Team, Free Dance, Choreography and Moves in the Field.

Each rating has four levels of achievement: Registered, Certified, Senior and Master levels.

Tests consist of written and oral portions. Once the rating is achieved, the coach has to maintain the rating by doing continuing education credits at PSA events.

Coaches also have to do credits (and background checks) annually to be in compliance with U.S. Figure Skating which allows them to put skaters on the ice at sanctioned events like test sessions and competitions.

Rankings are earned by coaches based on their skater’s accomplishments. Most coaches would be Level I ranked as long as they are a member, take the entry-level tests and pay the $35 bucks. Level X coaches have multiple World or Olympic champions. These coaches are rare as you might imagine. (They don’t charge a fee for that test.)

Are you still with me? That is all the technical, I promise.

Here comes the commentary.

Is the PSA with all its tests and exams really important to us parents? The answer is NO… and yes.

The PSA does have some value. Coaches who are passionate about coaching will have a venue to learn (hopefully) more about their chosen field. In theory, these coaches will also have access to other coaches who might be able to teach them new techniques. They will attend seminars on various subjects that will (hopefully) make them better coaches. A coach who achieves a Master rating in their chosen area should be able to teach that area to the highest level without question.

So that’s reassuring, right? Not so fast!

The problem is that all this education, continuing education, and maintaining of ratings costs money. Lots of money. Not only do coaches have to pay for the tests and memberships, there is also the travel and hotel expenses. Additionally, the time it takes to go to PSA events means student lessons get canceled and lost revenue. (Sounds like kind of a racket, right?)

A coach who is able to have more students either because they live in a heavily populated area or teach learn to skate (which gives them access to more skaters) is able to make more money and pay for this stuff. A coach that also has to work a full-time “real” job in order to get benefits and only coaches in the evenings and weekends might have the money but doesn’t have the time to study or the vacation days to go to the conferences.

Sometimes that coach who teaches learn to skate and gets all the little kids for private lessons doesn’t have the ability to do anything else. She made some poor decisions and now she is stuck as a coach which might not have been her real passion. That coach who has the day job is the responsible adult who has skills to do something else. She has passion for coaching but wants to live within her means and not with her parents. Who is the better role model for your child?

A tale of three coaches

I once met a double master-rated coach who was a complete and utter witch. Haughty and rude are the two best words to describe her. Sure, she could teach my skater up to her senior moves in the field but do I really want my kid spending time with this horrible person? Not on your life!

I met another coach with a higher ranking than all the other coaches at the rink because she was the primary coach of a skater who made it to Nationals… 10 years ago. Only one skater. Ever. The coach has never been able to duplicate whatever it was that enabled that skater to get so far. She can afford to maintain the ranking because other parents brought their skaters to her hoping for the same national success. This coach has the rating, the ranking, but not a proven track record of success. At this point, this coach’s achievement actually looks like a fluke. There is no guarantee that she can take my skater to the top of the podium but she would have you believe she can. And if she doesn’t, it isn’t her fault. (Just ask her!)

The third coach doesn’t have any ratings or rankings. She still had two skaters get through their senior moves in the last month. She is kind, professional and a role model. She has a natural ability to connect with skaters. She pushes when the skater needs pushing. She is supportive when necessary and she communicates at an age-appropriate level. She doesn’t have the resources to maintain a rating or ranking at the moment but could have them without question otherwise. Personally, this is the coach I would want for my child.

So the moral of the story is…

Just because a coach has a master rating in Free Skating and a level 4 ranking doesn’t mean they are they right person to coach your skater. These certifications or achievements don’t mean that they will coach your skater to the international stage. Finding the right coach is a tough balance between coach, parent and skater.

  • Is the coach able to communicate with the skater on their level?
  • Can the coach translate the skating concepts to your child?
  • Does your child need a strict coach or a “mom” personality?
  • Is the coach able to communicate with the parent?
  • Do you need a lot of hand holding as a parent?
  • Are you the type of parent that needs to know everything or do you want to leave everything to the coach?
  • Is the coach able to design a training program that fits your skater’s needs, level, goals and schedule?

Once you figure these things out is when you are more likely to find that coach that works best for your family. You will be able to rule out certain personalities fairly quickly. You will be able to communicate to a coach what you need from them and what is expected for your skater.

In the end, it doesn’t matter what a coach is rated or ranked as long as he or she can teach your skater correct technique and communicate with you as a family at the level you need.

In the Beginning….

It’s inevitable. If you have been in the skating (mom) world long enough, that you will get the same question over and over…. “Did you ice skate?” In my case, the answer is “No!” I had only been on skates once in my life before my skater started. They were old and painful and I never left the hallway carpet. Probably a pair of $20 Lake Placids. (Ouch!)

I do remember watching Debi Thomas at the Olympics on a small black and white tv as a kid. Maybe Caryn Kadavy. The Brians, Katarina… But I lost interest with Tonya and Nancy. How could such a beautiful sport go so wrong? Well, that is what I asked myself then. Now I know the answer and it is a pretty simple one. Some of the people in figure skating are insane.

Mainly you hear about the moms with their dreams of Olympic gold who have a skater who rather just do the occasional lesson and spend the rest of the time with her friends. Or those “drop and run” moms whose skaters are left to their own devices once mom pulls from the curb. She doesn’t really care what they are doing as long as they aren’t in her way. Or those moms that spend $1000 on skates, $500 on a dress and never watch their 7-year-old actually skate because mom is sitting in the lobby talking to anyone who will listen about $1000 skates and $500 dresses.

This is not their blog.

There is a whole other level of crazy and it is called “coach”. Don’t let them deceive you with their black puffy coats and (somewhat) professional demeanor. More likely than not, a nutjob is just waiting for the moment to reveal it’s true nature. Something will set them off at some point. You just need to be prepared. That is what this blog is about.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure there are some decent human beings working as coaches. Eventually, I might even meet one.

In the meantime though…